I want to spend everyday for the rest of my life loving you, making you
smile. I want to make you feel each and everyday like the most special, beautiful woman in the world. I want to
spend the rest of my days waking up and going to bed with you. I want to devote my life to you.
I think of things everyday that make me so dissapointed and sad within
myself. I feel like beating myself into the ground. There were so many moments that I didn't take advantage of
and show you all the love I have in my heart for you. So many times that I did other things instead of just spending
it with you. I think of my singing, and how that instead of doing that I could have and should have been wherever you
were. Be it on the couch, your sisters, riding around, whatever. I should have been with you. I feel it
within the very core of my soul how that if I could go back in time, I would be. If you were on the couch watching television,
I'd be beside you. If you were going to see your family, I'd be going too. If you were going to mow, to work for
someone, to the store...so would I. If you weren't feeling well I'd devote every ounce of energy I had into doing any
and everything I could to make you feel better. How that instead of getting mad when someone called our home for you,
I'd be the happiest person in the world because I was the one who lived in the house they called. How that I'd love
to have you cook dinner for me. And how that I would do the dishes and clean the kitchen so that you could rest.
How I'd give all I have to pull the blankets back on your side of the bed while you stood there, waiting to turn the lights
off.
The terrible yet undeniable fact of the matter is, I can't go back and
do any of those things. The truth that ties in with it all is that if ever given the opportunity to be in any of those
positions again, I'd do them. Again and again. For the rest of all time.
I don't deserve you. I never have. You are so wonderful, so
kind, so loving, so intelligent, so caring, so selfless, you're beautiful inside and out. I am so thankful for the blessing
of knowing you. Of loving you. Of feeling the incomparible feeling of being loved by you.
I don't have much to offer. I'm anything but perfect. I could
never in a million years make you feel as incredible as you make me. But I promise you, with every fiber of my being,
that if you'll let me I'll spend the rest of my life trying. You are amazing, and should I be fortunate enough to be
where I once was, I'd never take it for granted. I'd spend every single solitary second making the absolute best of
it. Making certain that you knew beyond the shadow of any doubt that I love you with all I am, with all I'll ever be.
One thing I've learned is that I don't need money. I don't need material
things. I just need you. I need you like the oxygen my lungs are taking in right now. I'm nothing but an
empty shell walking around without you. With you, I am whole. I love who I am with you. But most importantly,
I love you. With all my heart, mind, body and soul. I love you like no other. I love you forever, my Jenny.
